Porr med incest-tema, “barely legal” och “teen” är några av de största trenderna på flera av de mest populära mainstreamporrsajterna med miljontals filmer som är gratis och tillgängliga för alla oavsett ålder. Därför är det vanligt att barn redan i förskoleklass och lågstadieålder exponeras för den typen av porr, t.ex. genom att ett äldre barn på skolan visar.

Exempel på porrfilmer från två av världens mest populära porrsajter är:

“SisLovesMe – Shy Stepsister With Puffy Nips Mazy Myers Gets Her Tiny Pussy Stretched By Stepbro” – 34.4K, views, 87% likes. Noterad 11 januari 2023 på Youporn.

“STEPFATHER FUCKS TINY TEEN BECAUSE HIS WIFE WOULD NOT” –10.9M views, 87% likes. Noterad 11 januari 2023 på Pornhub.

Den här typen av porrfilmer ligger ofta högt upp på startsidorna direkt när barnen kommer in på porrsajterna och det är vanligt att barn redan i lågstadieålder exponeras för s.k. “incest-porr” t.ex. genom att ett äldre barn på skolan visar. Det kan vara mycket skadligt för barn att se porr där det ser ut som att vuxna eller syskon förgriper sig på barn. Läs mer i vår kunskapsdel Hur påverkas barn? Det här är ett komplext och allvarligt problem. På porrsajterna finns ingen åldersverifikation, det är ofta helt omöjligt att veta hur gamla de medverkande är, om de är minderåriga eller ej.

Om du tror att ett barn har exponerats och mår dåligt rekommenderar vi att du tar professionell hjälp, t.ex. av skolkuratorn. Läs mer i Hur påverkas barn?.

Generellt gäller övriga expertråd även här: Prata lugnt, lyft av eventuell skuld eller skam, lyssna in barnets känslor, försök att inte överföra dina egna känslor.

Repetera med barnet att snopp, snippa, rumpa, mun, hals, insida på lår och bröst för äldre tjejer är privata kroppsdelar. Läs mer om privata kroppsdelar, kroppslig integritet och “Stopp! Min kropp!” hos Rädda Barnen och Treskablinoll.

Försök ta reda på om barnet har exponerats för porr genom att ställa öppna frågor och utan att säga ordet porr, om barnet inte redan kan det ordet. Istället för ordet porr kan du fråga om barnet har sett bilder och filmer med naket. Berätta att det tyvärr finns bilder och filmer på internet där vuxna rör barns privata kroppsdelar, att det är fel och att det inte borde vara så. Berätta att det inte är bra för barn att se bilder eller filmer där vuxna eller andra barn rör barns eller vuxnas privata kroppsdelar. 

Förklara för barnet att ingen vuxen, eller något barn, får röra vid, fota eller filma deras privata kroppsdelar eller be barnet röra barnets egna eller någon annans privata kroppsdelar. Räkna upp några exempel så att det blir konkret och barnet förstår vilka det är detta gäller. Du kan t.ex. säga till barnet: “Varken lärare, fritidsledare, fotbollstränare, en kompis syskon eller föräldrar, kusiner eller någon annan i familjen. 

Betona att det aldrig är barnets fel eller ansvar om det händer. Berätta att det är vanligt att barn mår dåligt och kan känna sig ledsna, och att det är helt okej att känna sig ledsen och må dåligt. Säg till barnet att det viktigt att barnet berättar för en vuxen som det känner sig trygg med om det har hänt.

Sök professionell hjälp vid behov. Vi uppmuntrar alltid att anmäla till Polisen om ett barn har utsatts, vid misstanke om brott.


De flesta sociala medier har en åldersgräns på 13 år men det är vanligt att barn introduceras till exempelvis TikTok redan i lågstadiet av en kompis även om inte ditt barn har TikTok. Vissa sociala medier, t.ex. Twitter har inga begränsningar för porr. Men även de sociala medier som inte tillåter porr som bl.a. Instagram och TikTok tillåter att porrsajter och porrskådespelare har egna konton där de gör reklam för porr och länkar till porr. 

Visa intresse för ditt barns liv på nätet och i sociala medier. Var till exempel med och titta, ställ frågor och visa att du vill lära dig av ditt barn som ofta vet mer om sociala medier än vi föräldrar gör. Låt tyngdvikten vara i det som är positivt och roligt med nätet. Det är viktigt att barnet inte upplever oss vuxna som oförstående för det som barnet tycker är roligt, eller dömande och tråkiga glädjedödare. Det allra viktigaste som vi ska förvalta är barnets förtroende och vilja att ha en löpande, nära dialog med sina trygga vuxna under hela uppväxten. 

Fråga om barnet har sett nakna bilder och filmer på nätet, men säg inte ordet porr om barnet inte redan känner till det för att barnet inte ska googla och exponeras.

Ställ öppna frågor om olika förkortningar för ord på nätet och när andra i klassen pratar för att ta reda på om hen t.ex. har hört begreppen “MILF”, “DILF” och “Daddy”. Säg inte begreppen själv om du inte märker att barnet redan känner till dem, precis som med ordet porr, för att de inte ska googla och kanske hamna på porr. 



Om barnet har hört begreppen kan du fråga om hen vet vad de betyder och vad hen får för tankar kring det. Prata tillsammans som vi föreslår i förra tipset om att det är fel och skadligt om det händer ett barn på riktigt och att det aldrig är barnets fel. Det är helt okej att berätta att man som vuxen själv kanske inte förstår hur det kan bli en så populär och normaliserad trend.

Lyssna in och öppna upp för barnets egna tankar och känslor. Var tydlig med att det är fel och olagligt om vuxna gör något sexuellt med barn eller ber barn göra något sexuellt med sig själva eller andra och att det alltid gäller både på nätet och utanför nätet.

Prata om att det är helt naturligt att man kan vara nyfiken på kropp och sex och inget fel eller något att skämmas för. Betona att alla ska få utveckla och definiera sin egen sexualitet i sin egen takt. 

We recommend that you don’t say the word “porn” unless you notice that your child is already familiar with the word, as we don’t want to introduce it and risk the child googling it and being exposed to pornography. However, you can talk to your child about the fact that there are things on the internet that are not suitable for children, such as pictures and videos containing nudity.

Make sure your child knows which body parts are private: willy, vagina, bottom, mouth, inside of thighs and breasts for older girls, and that they know that private body parts are each person’s own and that they must be respected. Also remind your child that it goes without saying that a person’s whole body must always be respected! No-one is allowed to touch another person in a way that feels uncomfortable.

When, as adults, we ask for consent, we show that the child’s and other people’s bodily privacy is important and is something that goes without saying. Physical contact with another person must always feel good for everyone involved, before, during and after. One example is to offer a hug using words and body language and wait until the child gives a “yes or no signal”. That’s how we teach a child that their own and other people’s bodies must be respected.

Also talk to your child about the fact that it’s up to the person who takes the physical initiative to get consent. For example, you can say to your child, “If you want to hug or tickle someone, first ask them if they want to do it as well.” For example, the child could ask: “Do you want a hug?”, “Is that OK with you?" or "Do you want to be tickled?".

If the child learns to ask at an early age, it might be easier for the child to accept a no. The child might not feel so rejected if they’ve asked a question in order to check the situation. Tell them that you might feel sad, angry or disappointed when you get a no and it’s completely OK to feel like that. The no must nevertheless be respected.

Consent means that anything that is not a crystal clear yes is a no. Go over a few examples of how a no might sound with your child:

• "Wait" means no

• "I'm not sure" means no

• "Not now" means no

• "I have changed my mind" means no

• "Stop" means no

• "It hurts" means no

• No does not mean "persuade me"

• No simply means no.

A no can therefore be expressed in a lot of different ways. Some are easier to understand, others might be more difficult. Ask if the child can think of more ways of saying no without using the word “no”. Body language can also signal a no and then it’s important to ask the person what they want. Also ask what a no might look like using body language.

It’s also important to tell your child that it’s perfectly OK for them to say no, even if it disappoints the other person. It can be a good idea for you and the child to come up with a couple of responses together for when the child don’t want physical contact with someone. One example might be “No thanks, I’ve run out of hugs today” or “Here’s a ‘high five’ instead”.

The vast majority of children don’t tell an adult if they’re exposed to pornography. To make a child more likely to tell you, you can ask the child to think about which adults they feel safest with in various ordinary situations. Question: “Who would you most like to talk to at school if something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable?” Mention other places such as after-school club, leisure activities, at their best friend’s house, etc.

It’s a good idea to repeat the exercise once every three months so it’s fresh in the child’s memory and the child can think of a new person if an after-school club leader leaves, for example. If the child has thought about it in advance, they’re more likely to go to an adult if something that makes them feel uncomfortable happens. Just the same as it’s easier to get out of a building when there’s a fire if you’ve memorised where the fire exits are.

The child is even more likely to tell if they’ve told their safe adults that they’ve been chosen and has received a warm reaction. Then, in a way, they’ve already started the conversation and it can be much easier to actually dare to tell the adult if something that makes them feel uncomfortable happens. So encourage your child to tell their chosen adults.

Finding out that a child has been exposed to pornography can give rise to powerful emotions in an adult. If that happens, it’s important for you to put your own feelings on hold and focus entirely on the child’s feelings. Listen to how the child is feeling, ask open-ended questions to get an idea of what the child has seen and how the child has reacted. Speak calmly and show that you won’t get angry. Also show that you can listen no matter what the child tells you and that you’ll always help and support the child. Be sure to unburden the child of any feelings of guilt and shame.

Bear in mind that children don’t want to make adults sad or angry and that overwhelming reactions can mean that the child won’t want to tell you next time they’re exposed to pornography. The aim is for the child to dare to talk about it next time as well and to want to have an ongoing dialogue with you while they’re growing up. Thank the child for the trust they have shown in you by daring to tell you and say that you’re happy that the child is talking to you about what happened.

Always focus on the child and acknowledge the child’s feelings in every conversation, whether the child has been exposed to pornography unwillingly, has searched for pornography themselves, has seen others watching pornography or is just curious.

Sometimes children feel guilt or shame when they’ve been watching pornography and it’s important for adults to unburden the child of those feelings. One way of doing that is to tell them that it’s never a child’s “fault” if they’ve seen pornography and by showing that we won’t get angry. Another way is to tell the child that it’s adults’ job to protect children from things that aren’t suitable for them to see on the internet and that you’ll do your best to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

If your child has watched pornography, you can talk about the fact that what you see in mainstream pornography isn’t sex because, among other things, pornography rarely shows consent. Pornography often contains various types of violence against girls that can hurt and injure them both physically and psychologically. Tell your child that many of the people shown in pornography are unhappy even if they look happy and that they’re often very vulnerable. In pornography, violence is shown as a normal part of sex and often seems to be appreciated by the girls subjected to it. We must therefore make it clear that in sex it’s important to have consent, mutual feelings, tenderness and closeness and to be caring and responsive. It should feel good for everyone involved, before, during and after sex!

Children need their parents’ insight, help and involvement just as much in their online world as they do offline. Show just as much interest in what your child is doing in both worlds. Sit next to your child while they’re browsing and ask what they’re doing. Ask whether your child wants to show you things they think are fun and teach you about apps and games. Showing interest is an important way of building trust and gaining insight. Then it becomes natural to talk about different things online, including things that may feel more uncomfortable.

It’s common for children to send one another links to material that’s not child-friendly, such as links to porn sites. Tell your child that links from other people can lead to things that’ll scare you or make you feel bad and that your child should always ask an adult if they feel unsure before clicking on a link. Tell them that you’ll never be angry if something happens that makes the child feel bad. Unburden the child of any feelings of guilt or shame they may have, keep calm and listen to the child.

Tell your child that no-one is allowed to send unwanted nude pictures or videos of private body parts, so-called “dickpics”, to the child or to pressure the child into sending nude pictures, so-called “nudes”. Say that if it does happen, it’s important for the child to go to an adult that they feel safe with and tell them.

Make it clear that the child doesn’t have to send nude pictures just because someone is nagging them to do it. Explain that you lose control of the pictures and videos once you’ve sent them and that they can easily be spread on the internet and remain there forever. Also talk about the risk that other children could forward nude pictures if there are nude pictures on the child’s phone, for example if the child lends it to someone at school.

Nude pictures and videos of minors end up on porn sites and it can be very difficult to get them taken down and they can also be uploaded again. Minors can get help to try and take down nude pictures that have been spread online at dittecpat.se.

Tell them that you’ll never get angry if something happens and that you’ll always help and support them. Make it clear that it’s never the child’s fault if someone spreads their pictures. Unburden the child of any feelings of guilt or shame and thank the child for having the confidence in you to tell you. Get professional help if you need it, e.g. from a school counsellor.

When your child starts to come into contact with social media on their own phone or an older sibling’s or friend’s phone, there is a risk that the child may be contacted by adults who want to harm the child through so-called grooming. Be on the alert about your child’s contact with social media. There are adults who send messages and nude pictures to a child or ask the child to send nude pictures of themselves or to take pictures of their siblings or friends and send nude pictures of them. So it’s important to teach children about private body parts and tell them that no-one is allowed to ask the child to photograph and send pictures of their private body parts. Also, tell them not to share private information such as their name, home address, school, etc.

Help your child register a username on social media instead of using their own name since that reduces the risk of someone who wants to harm them being able to search for them. Also help to activate privacy settings on the child’s accounts.

Tell them that you’ll never get angry if something happens and that you’ll always help and support them. Unburden the child of any feelings of guilt or shame and thank your child for having the confidence in you to tell you. Get professional help if you need it, e.g. from a school counsellor.

You can read more about nude pictures and grooming and get more advice on the Swedish Police website If you suspect that a sexual offence is being committed against a child online, you must report it to the police.

We recommend complying with the age recommendations of the various social media platforms. It’s usually easier if you join forces with other parents in your child’s various activities and agree to comply with the age recommendations together. One tip is to raise it at a parents’ meetings or send out the proposal in an email thread to other parents of children at your child’s activities or in their group of friends.

A lot of children are on social media platforms that they’re not old enough to be on. Twitter, which has an age limit of 13, has no restrictions on pornography. It is completely unrestricted on the platform. However, there are restrictions on many other social media platforms, e.g. Instagram and Tiktok.

But, just like other commercial companies, the pornography industry also uses social media, such as Snapchat and Instagram, to market itself, generate curiosity and build its fanbase.

Porn sites and people who take part in pornography, or “creators” as they are called on OnlyFans, have their own social media accounts, often with millions of followers. On Instagram for example, it’s possible to link directly to an account on OnlyFans or to porn sites such as Pornhub via Linktree, among others.

OnlyFans is a large social media platform that saw rapid growth during the pandemic.

It’s common for young girls to use it to sell pictures of themselves with no clothes on and home-made pornography featuring them. Unfortunately, OnlyFans has shortcomings in its age verification for people creating accounts in order to watch and for people taking part in the material.

That’s another reason why it’s important to show interest in what your child is doing and experiencing online. Ask open-ended questions and listen carefully if the child knows what, for example, OnlyFans is. Talk about it in an individually-appropriate way.

Have the talk in an everyday situation that’s comfortable for you both. For example, conversation usually flows well when you’re moving or doing something together, such as going for a walk or cooking.

Examples of questions to initiate the conversation:

• Show interest in the child’s internet. Ask what the child likes and ask the child to show you what they do and what they watch. 

• Ask questions in the third person. Has anyone in their class watched or shown videos containing nudity?

• Ask whether the child is curious about sex and what they know about sex and what they’d like to know. You can say that you understand if the child is curious about what the body looks like or what it looks like when someone has sex.
  

One convenient way to start the conversation is to use a third party as a starting point. For example, put an age-appropriate book or article on the kitchen table.

You’re welcome to read on, but don’t think that you need to be skilled to have the perfect big talk. If you do think that, it often doesn’t come off or it happens after the child’s first exposure to pornography rather than before. None of us is skilled in this area, which is also developing at lightning speed. For example, the pornography industry is constantly finding new ways of marketing itself and there are new trends as far as content is concerned. The important thing is that no child should to be left alone with experiences from pornography that can be traumatising. So don't put off the talk!

If it feels awkward to talk to your child, bear in mind that you’ve talked about things that felt uncomfortable before, perhaps if the child experienced something nasty on TV or someone was getting bullied at school. You know your child. Trust your relationship and have confidence that you’ll find your way in this conversation as well. Children often want to talk to adults about both positive and negative powerful experiences, but they don’t always bring them up themselves. It’s therefore important for us adults to have the talk regularly!